Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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