porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
