There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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