No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i came on her dog
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
