So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Randomize
