Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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