if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
