Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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