So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
