tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.