I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize