All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
