You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
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He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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