i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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