plz talk dirty to me
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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