I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
