What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
