i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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