every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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