Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
her vagine was all disorganized.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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