Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
