You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
