He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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