This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize