Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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