Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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