just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
