Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Bring me that man meat
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
