He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
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I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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