Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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