I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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