I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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