make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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