U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
