What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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