I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
