too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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