I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Randomize
