I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize