What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
