I love black thongs
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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