I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
