he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Sorry about my life...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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