If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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