If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
