You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Drunk is not a location!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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