im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
