listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
