I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
