LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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