He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
