Sry I called you an 8
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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