What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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