I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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