There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
