Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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