We need to rekindle our bromance
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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