I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
