The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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