We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
