Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
