fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
