its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
