i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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