My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i would punch a child for taco bell
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize