After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The air was thick with penises
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
