Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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