She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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