Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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