I intend to get homeless drunk
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
