So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
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according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
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I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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